Have a Heart

With the recent event of former President Clinton being admitted to the hospital for what they initially thought was a heart attack, I'm wondering when all the Bill Clinton jokes about his heart start cropping up. It wasn't a heart attack, but rather chest pains, shortness of breath, etc, and there is an upcoming heart bypass surgery. Of course we know that Vice President Dick Cheney has had heart bypass surgery and it's all fun and games to joke aboot that. I'm sure it would be considered insensitive to makes jokes at Clinton's expense. After all, this is a serious matter.

Obviously one of the major contributing factors to this is the years of fast food consumption. I'm sure he tried to remedy the situation by thinking..."Hey, I bet if I can get an intern to suck my dick, I can pretend all that cholesterol will break down and shoot out of me like a 155 mm Howitzer shell."

Perhaps there also two other factors. Democrat Senator Zell Miller's fire and brimstone speech on Wednesday may have pushed him over the edge. Remember that "Give 'em hell" Zell gave the keynote speech for Bill Clinton back in 1992, and now Zell is supporting President Bush. Also, that 10-12% post-convention bounce that President Bush now has. Since Senator Kerry was seen as the presumptive nominee earlier this year, the polls have showed the two men in a statistical dead heat. Kerry/Edwards got little to no bounce after their little shindig in Boston. So, it was still pretty much a 50/50 race (excluding Nader and Badnerkikckoshisk). After four days of an upbeat and spirited convention of comparing the two candidate's records, reminiscing what we came into, what we experienced, what we are currently doing, and laying out a plan for the next four years, the Republicans must have made a positive impression on the American public. With the combination of Zell's speech and the currently widening gap between President Bush (54%) and Senator Kerry (43%), Clinton's heart had no choice but to give out. I'm not inferring that this won't be a close election, or that these numbers won't tighten again. Remember, this is only taken from three polls. Hardly a consensus, but I do think it is a good indicator of an American approval of how President George W. Bush is leading our great nation. All year the numbers are "too close to call", no bounce after the Democrats convention, and a double digit lead after the Republicans convention? Things are looking up for the GOP and America.


So in the spirit of bipartisanship, where are all the Bill Clinton heart jokes? If it's good enough to wisecrack about Dick Cheney, then it should be good enough for Bill Clinton. Is it too soon after the unfortunate incident to be funny? Is Bill Clinton's heart above comic scrutiny? Would it be in bad taste? Not that Bill Clinton would leave a bad taste in anybody's mouth...well, except for Monica Lewinski.

For the record, I was taken back a little when I heard the news. I wasn't a big fan of the man, nor did I ever vote for him. However, I don't want to see the man die or go into a vegetative state. In retrospect, President Clinton did so much for the Republican Party. The 1994 elections come to mind, when for the first time in 40 years, Republicans controlled both the houses of congress.

God Bless you President Clinton for helping put the GOP in charge, and for giving us Newt Gingrich and Bob Dole.

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